Even though this is primarily a food blog, every so often i like to write about other areas of life that interest me, like mental health and home organization. Like many of you, over the past year I experienced some personal challenges. But when I think about it, there was also a lot of growth, acceptance and light bulb moments and I wanted to write them down. For posterity? For guidance in mid-July? Who knows, but downloading my thoughts is usually pretty helpful to me. You never know, maybe something here might speak to you.
Relationships change.
I have a handful of long-established close friendships and I treasure them. That said, my “newer” friendships are special, too, and opening myself up to meeting new people is something I hope to keep doing. On the other side of that, I’ve realized that some friendships are not meant to be forever and I’m learning to appreciate that, too. No harm, no hard feelings. Sometimes friendships just change over time and I’m learning to be okay with the ebb and flow of it all. Nothing is really as personal as we might think at first. Let it go. It’s okay.
Aging is a gift.
I’ve been doing this for a while – embracing my age. But now I’m being more deliberate (and intentional as they say) with regards to being more fit in both mind + body. More outwardly facing things like by letting my gray hair really grow in is one I am loving. And, now instead of complaining about my aches and pains I am trying to be more active, go to acupuncture, practice yoga at home and along the way, teach my brain new ways of addressing aging. One really good move is avoiding the rabbit hole of Instagram ads that promise thinner bodies, tighter skin, etc. It’s just not good for ANYONE and now that kind of content is the norm. Thankfully, my age and experience tell me those surface things are not important, nor will they miraculously improve my daily life.
Less is way more.
This is something that I’ve been working on for many years now. Decluttering, thrifting, repurposing and moving things around in my home are all things that have helped me feel more settled and at ease. It’s hard to describe but the fewer things around me is a very good thing for me. Simplicity makes everything easier for me. That said, I love a maximalist living room on Instagram, but I could never live in one. My main rule is one in, one out. I deleted my Amazon account in the beginning of 2024 because it felt like something I was using for dopamine vs ordering things I actually need. I have since set up a new Amazon account but I have vowed to not use it unless I’m really in a jam or the item I need is not readily available via in-person shopping near me. Now I make lists on my phone and shop about every six weeks for household necessities, pet supplies, etc. It’s been three months now, and so far, so good. 
An open mind lets more in.
Opening up to new ideas and ways of doing things is something I aim to do a lot. I’d describe this as kind of ignoring what “generation” I am and looking at those around me to see other ideas and perspectives. In general, really dislike when people make sweeping statements about this generation or that, it just feels lazy to me. My advice: keep your mind open. I feel lucky to have both much younger and older people in my life, they teach me so much. I never want to limit my view. Even if it’s something that might seem trivial, like knowing some of the latest music or stying up on social media trends. Other examples I can think of: I am becoming more consistent with journaling and thinking about how much water I have had each day – I even own a water bottle! A few of my older friends remind me to put my phone aways and resist the urge to share everything with the world. All of these are good habits and I’m thankful to have friends who make me more mindful of them.
Good vibes start at home.
I have some super specific behaviors I’m embracing, too, like keeping my home tidy. This is not always the easiest for me. Living alone and having bouts with depression, I sometimes have to push myself to do the most mundane tasks like taking out the trash or emptying the dishwasher. These are sometimes referred to as the “impossible tasks”. I know other people struggle with things like this and honestly, that is kind of comforting. While I was off this past week, I cleaned out a closet and finally, put my small storage area in my building to use, stowing away things I don’t need access to very often. That not-so-big thing felt really good. Yesterday, before I went out to run an errand, I made sure the kitchen sink was empty and the counter was clear. Coming home to a tidy space feels calming. Those little things are big things. Maybe you understand this.
It’s okay to say no.
The older I get, the more I am finding my voice and realizing it’s okay to say no sometimes. As a total people pleaser (Enneagram 9, hello) I have always wanted to make people like me and do whatever I can to keep the peace. I never ever want to offend or disappoint someone, so I would often do things I don’t want to because I feel like I have no choice. So, this is where my younger friends have opened me up to the idea of boundaries and self-acceptance. I still sometimes worry about what people think of me, but it’s much less often now. I’m not trying to change generations, rather appreciating and learning from people who see things differently than me. Slowly but surely, I am finding it easier and easier with time to say “no, thank you” to plans I do not want to do without an explanation. It’s harder than you think.
It’s not just the kids.
I’ve talked a lot about what I am learning from the younger people in my life. But something I very much admire about my parents’ generation – the Silent Generation, those who are often seen as loyal and hard working – is the commitment to finishing what you start. That’s a big one for me. My parents made sure that my brothers and I always do what we say we will do. Keep your word. That has served me well in life. And now, on the other side of that equation – Millennials and Gen Zers show me when it’s time to speak up for myself (and that’s where boundaries come in). I’m slowly building up to that. For now, at least, I am aware of what I am being asked and how it might affect me. Baby steps for this rule follower and people pleaser!
One of my big goals this year is to work on practicing more self-compassion, something I am currently learning more about. The basic premise centers around treating yourself with same kindness you give to others. Read this link if you’d like to learn more. Here’s an example: I don’t have a weight loss goal or want to write a certain number of journal pages each day, I just want to be more mindful around those areas. I will surely have those days where it is just not happening and I know I will need to give myself a little grace. As my mom always says, “tomorrow’s another day”. Not beating yourself up for a misstep is a form of self-compassion.
Is any of this sounding remotely familiar? What kinds of things are you working on internally? Are you trying to make changes in yourself and how you take care of yourself? I’d love to know.
Mindful Drinking
Leave a Reply